“The most productive investment anyone can make is to look within and figure out what you haven’t come to grips with. Are there things from your past that you’re still dealing with but don’t want to face? Having the courage to turn inward and face yourself — that allows you to navigate life in a better way.”
~ Angry Male Vet ~
Masculinity In Review
For this 26th interview of Intelligent Masculinity, Nick Paro sits down with AngryMaleVet — a retired combat veteran, Air Force intelligence officer, and outspoken political commentator — for a conversation that moves between war, leadership, accountability, and the kind of strength that doesn’t ask for applause. The two met at the Abolish ICE live event in Minneapolis, a tribute to Alex Pretti and Renee Nicole Goode, and the connection carried forward into this episode. What emerges is a grounded, direct examination of what it means to lead with professionalism and empathy — on the Pakistani border, in the halls of military command, and inside your own head.
Angry Male Vet spent nine months on the Pakistani border working with villages and tribes on infrastructure and security — a mission that demanded more than tactical competence. He describes the work as requiring two things above all else: professionalism and empathy. He recounts sitting with a tribal chieftain through an interpreter, discussing road and school construction, while the chieftain explained plainly that the Taliban or the Haqqani Network would return as soon as American forces left. That kind of clarity — understanding the impossible position of a community caught between armed factions — is what shaped his leadership. Professionalism means you follow your oath and execute your mission. Empathy means you don’t lose sight of the human beings on the other side of it.
The conversation shifts to the present moment, and Angry Male Vet does not soften the picture. With U.S. forces striking Iran, conscientious objector filings spiking service-wide, and commanders raising reservations up the chain, the military is under pressure from multiple directions. His message to active service members is straightforward: remember your oath, follow lawful orders, refuse unlawful ones, and take notes — because accountability will come. He points to specific moments of pushback already happening: the AH-64 Apache investigation that Hegseth shut down within two hours, the U.S. SOUTHCOM commander who resigned over the Venezuela strikes, and the behind-the-scenes resistance that likely prevented any move on Greenland. The institution is not monolithic. There are people inside it paying attention.
The conscientious objector filings, he argues, are not a sign of weakness — they are one of the clearest expressions of masculine strength in this moment. It takes more courage to stop, name your objection, and put it on record than to go along with the current. He draws a direct line between this kind of moral independence and the masculinity the show is built around: not bravado, not performance, but the willingness to stand for something at personal cost. The U.S. strike on a school in Manab that killed 175 elementary schoolgirls — brushed aside by Hegseth and Trump — is exactly the kind of action he says military members have a legal and ethical obligation to refuse if the target sets expand further. That refusal is not insubordination. Per the UCMJ and the oath every service member takes, it is the requirement.
When Nick asks who shaped his model of masculinity, Angry Male Vet names his father and Barry Sanders. His father worked on IBM mainframes and drove long-haul trucks, split logs and raised a family — and never once leveraged his intelligence or capability for intimidation. He treated people with courtesy, practiced empathy, and believed the real battle was the one inside yourself. Barry Sanders gets named for a different reason: he would make a run that left the entire stadium stunned and then hand the ball to the referee and walk back to the sideline. No dance, no speech. He did his job and got ready to do it again. Both examples point to the same thing — strength that doesn’t require an audience.
Angry Male Vet brings 23 years of service, deployments across three theaters, and a practitioner’s understanding of what it actually costs to lead well under pressure. This conversation threads military ethics, political accountability, and the internal discipline required to be the kind of man — and the kind of soldier — who does the right thing when no one is watching. Nick closes by naming what the series is building toward: more voices, more perspectives, and a clearer picture of what intelligent masculinity looks like when it’s lived rather than performed. In Angry Male Vet, that picture is sharp — a man who measures strength by the courage to face yourself first, and the world second.
Actions You Can Take
Check out the new: Sick of this Shop!
Check out the new network and affiliate calendar: BroadBanner
Submit questions, feedback, and artwork for Notes of the Week with Nick and Walter:
Call your public servants on important issues:
Join the efforts to unmask law enforcement and de-flock the States:
Service members can get un-biased information on legal vs illegal orders:
Reach out on Signal: @TheOrdersProject.76
Learn empathy forward, human centered, experiment based Leadership & Growth Courses for Higher Ed & Non-Profit Professionals:
Thank you Amy Gabrielle, Mack Devlin, LeftieProf, Susan Gaustad, sandy bassett, and many others for tuning into my live video with AngryMaleVet! Join me for my next live video in the app.
Nick’s Notes
I’m Nick Paro, and I’m sick of the shit going on. So, I’m using poetry, podcasting, and lives to discuss the intersections of chronic illness and mental wellbeing, masculinity, veteran’s issues, politics, and so much more. I am only able to have these conversations, bring visibility to my communities, and fill the void through your support — this is a publication where engagement is encouraged, creativity is a cornerstone, and transparency is key — please consider becoming a paid subscriber today and grow the community!
