Masculinity in Review
This second discussion of Intelligent Masculinity we move inward. In a grounded, reflective conversation, I (Nick Paro) and Sharad Swaney dive into intentionally intelligent masculinity as an active discipline built on self-regulation, integrity, and internal alignment. Where my first discussion — Intelligent Masculinity with Shane Yirak — focuses on external violence and authoritarian powers, this conversation drills down into what masculinity must actively practice.
Sharad Swaney, 19-years-old, does not enter the conversation as a person who just “arrived at masculinity;” rather, as someone who treats masculinity as an interactive process which includes other men within his sphere of influence — shaped by a growth mindset, feedback, friction, mentorship, and failure. This is a foundational ideal of Intelligent Masculinity, shared by Shane Yirak and Sharad Swaney: growth is communal, and strength is forged alongside others.
Sharad Swaney models a strong masculinity that is:
Deliberate rather than reactive
Grounded rather than performative
Open to growth without being unmoored from truth
What Sharad Is For: Discipline as a Form of Respect
One of Sharad Swaney’s clearest positions is his reframing of discipline — not as rigidity, punishment, or control; rather, as respect made visible. Discipline, in his framing, is:
Respect for one’s own body
Respect for commitments made to others
Respect for time, energy, and consequence
This is an intentionally relational masculinity. By showing up consistently, regulating impulses, managing emotions, and honoring obligations — Sharad presents discipline as a way of reducing harm — to one’s self and to others.
This represents a meaningful departure from old, fragile masculine narratives that equate discipline with emotional denial or dominance — self-reflection, self-evaluation, and discipline allow empathy, trust, and reliability to exist.
Integrity as Alignment, Not Image
Sharad Swaney consistently returns to the idea that integrity is not about appearing principled — it is about intentional, consistent alignment between values, actions, and internal reality.
What makes this contribution powerful is that Sharad Swaney openly acknowledges how easy it is for men to drift:
To say the right things while avoiding the hard ones
To adopt an identity before earning it
To confuse confidence with coherence
Sharad Swaney prefers the slow, unglamorous work of closing those gaps.
This positions masculinity as a practice of reducing contradiction over time. Integrity is not purity — it is honesty paired with effort.
Masculinity Shaped Through Interaction, Not Isolation
A subtle but important through-line in Sharad Swaney’s perspective is the role of personal interactions in masculine development. Growth is not portrayed as self-generated — it is shaped by:
Conversations that challenge his assumptions
Relationships that require accountability
Feedback that forces recalibration
This stands in quiet opposition to the hyper-individualistic and fragile masculinity myths. Sharad Swaney demonstrates that men do not become strong by retreating inward — they become strong by remaining engaged while being willing to change.
This is Intelligent Masculinity in practice.
Responsibility Without Shame
Another positive lesson Sharad Swaney models is responsibility without self-loathing.
He acknowledges mistakes, blind spots, and areas of ongoing work without collapsing into guilt or defensiveness. This is critical, because fragile, shame-based masculinity often leads to:
Withdrawal
Anger
Projection onto others
Sharad Swaney’e posture offers an alternative: responsibility as a neutral, empowering stance. You own what’s yours — not to punish yourself, but to gain agency.
This reinforces a key series theme: Accountability is the foundation — it is an invitation to grow.
Avoidance as the Enemy — Engagement as the Solution
Sharad provides the counter-strategy to avoidance-based masculinity: engagement. He is for:
Facing discomfort early rather than letting it calcify
Naming internal resistance instead of rationalizing it
Staying present even when ego wants to retreat
This is masculinity rooted not through bravado, but through staying power.
Sharad’s version of courage is quiet: it’s the willingness to remain in the work after novelty fades and validation disappears.
Advancing the Series Narrative
If my first discussion with Shane Yirak establishes the moral stakes on an ego-free discipline and integrity, this second discussion with Sharad Swaney re-enforces the ideas of:
How men actually lean into those values
What growth looks like at ground the level
Why masculinity must be trained, not declared
Sharad Swaney’s contribution builds on the previous discussion where Intelligent Masculinity constructive, not critical — offering other men a path forward, focused on growth and intentionality.
~Nick Paro
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Thank you Evan Fields, Soso's World, Cris, Jill B., Mike Harkreader, and many others for tuning into my live video with Centered America, Sharad Swaney, and Banner & Backbone Media! Join me for my next live video in the app.
Nick’s Notes
I’m Nick Paro, and I’m sick of the shit going on. So, I’m using poetry, podcasting, and lives to discuss the intersections of chronic illness and mental wellbeing, masculinity, veteran’s issues, politics, and so much more. I am only able to have these conversations, bring visibility to my communities, and fill the void through your support — this is a publication where engagement is encouraged, creativity is a cornerstone, and transparency is key — please consider becoming a paid subscriber today and grow the community!
~Nick Paro
