A band of rubber holding on too tight
Pulling, pulling, pulling — no way to stop
With a sudden snap, it lights up the night
Fangs of pain going from snapping to pop.
A band of rubber coiling like a snake
Binding, binding, binding — those senses keen
With a slithering strike, it jolts awake
Flashing quickly with an attack unseen.
A band of rubber now bouncing so free
Skipping, skipping, skipping — this is no dream
With a loosening grip, there goes the knee
Inside it leaves me with a want to scream.
A band of rubber no longer the same
With a heavy long sigh, the pain I blame.
What does it mean?
Today’s poem is another in the A Chronic Journey series and is an extension of an earlier poem, A Rubber Band Too Tight — it chronicles my experiences with fibromyalgia, neuropathy, and other chronic conditions. This one is another about the ever present instabilities around one of my knees — the movements of the tendons — the spasming of the muscles.
This is a symptom I’ve chronicled a few times now in my poetry — it’s one of the most common I suffer from and it often leaves me in the most pain. It’s pretty shitty to say the least.
It’s something I sorta just live with and expect — I try not to let it slow me down. Like so many others who also suffer from chronic conditions, you know how hard that really is — it often comes with forcing beyond the body’s limits — leading down a vicious cycle of pain.
There has been a radical acceptance that has had to happen for me to understand that I can’t change the symptoms I go through. It has led me to an understanding and need to build community — a need to remain connected with others who also experience similar conditions — a need to build and expand those connections so others see they aren’t alone either.
~ Nick Paro
Nick’s Notes
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I share some of your symptoms and have others you probably don’t. Charcot-Marie-Tooth is my demon. I understand, Nick.